Movie reviews I’ve written for movies released theatrically in 1991, when I turned 10.
1. Delicatessen, directed by Marc Caro, Jean-Pierre Jeunet (10/10)
One of the most inventive dark comedies you will ever see. The only reason I rank it lower than Slacker is that Slacker arguably changed American film forever (and for the better). It is certainly the far more entertaining film. I highly recommend you see it. Pinon is perhaps the greatest face-actor (is that a thing?) of his generation. Just wonderful.
2. Da hong denglong gaogao gua [Raise the Red Lantern], directed by Yimou Zhang (9/10)
A pretty incredible period drama. Read the review of Raise the Red the Lantern.
3. Barton Fink, directed by Joel Coen (9*/10)
This was the Coens film that changed my life. I cannot be objective about it. All I can think of is Milhouse after he saw it. That was me.
4. Naked Lunch, directed by David Cronenberg (9*/10)
Massive asterisk: Seen as an impressionable teen and I before I tried to read, and gave up on, the book.
5. Kafka, directed by Steven Soderbergh (9*/10)
There was a time in my film-watching life when gimmicky film tricks – such as, say, suddenly using colour instead of black and white – “had me at hello” and I must admit that I watched this film during that phase of my life. I have not seen it since, partially because I don’t want to know how wrong I was.
6. Guling jie shaonian sharen shijian, directed by Edward Yang (8/1)
An epic crime drama about teens in late ’50s/early ’60s Taiwan. Read the review of A Brighter Summer Day.
7. Daughters of the Dust, directed by Julie Dash (8/10)
An arty, outdoor period chamber drama about the last day of a Gullah family on a Sea Island in South Carolina. Read the review of Daughters of the Dust.
8. Boyz N the Hood, directed by John Singleton (8/10)
I supposedly saw this as a teenager but have so little memory of it, I must have watched a few minutes of it on TV and decided I’d rate it. (I did that a lot in my teens.) Anyway…
This film has dated more than a little – the score is really ’80s – but, on the whole, I understand why it was such a big deal. Not only did it portray a world few Americans had knowledge about, but it does so in a way that feels authentic – the characters and setting feel real.
The film itself is no masterpiece in my mind; I have seen this story before (in different places) and there’s no particular visual element that is really striking. But it’s well made and it’s a bit of a cultural landmark. (Outside of Spike Lee, there wasn’t a lot of African American cinema a this point and Spike Lee focused on a different city.)
It’s worth watching and it’s an important movie, but I understand why Singleton hasn’t exactly gone on to a distinguished career.
9. My Own Private Idaho, directed by Gus Van Sant (8/10)
This is a pretty great Henry IV adaptation that I think I sold a little short. I should probably re-watch it.
10. The Silence of the Lambs, directed by Jonathan Demme (8/10)
At one point in the distant past this was on my list of the greatest horror movies of all time. I take that back as you can tell by the rating. I have seen it multiple times and feel like some parts of the film are more effective than others. The climax, for instance, is fantastically tense.
11. Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse, directed by Fax Bahr, George Hickenlooper, Eleanor Coppola (8/10)
For its time, an extremely revealing portrait of a debacle-turned-classic. Read the review of Hearts of Darkness.
12. A Brief History of Time, directed by Errol Morris (8/10)
This was the first Morris film I ever saw. I feel like I should re-watch it (hell, I should just buy all his films) because I’m not sure I appreciated him properly at the time.
13. Homicide, directed by David Mamet (8/10)
Unfortunately I watched this right before I started writing regular reviews.
14. Night on Earth, directed by Jim Jarmusch (8/10)
This is pretty much everything I want out of this type of film. The stories are interesting, often funny, and often affecting. I’ve never had any taxi ride this meaningful, but Jarmusch manages to give us interesting portraits of five separate but strangely similar places in a fairly short amount of time. I prefer it to Mystery Train.
15. 35 Up, directed by Michael Apted (8/10)
Read my review of Up documentaries.
16. Terminator 2: Judgment Day, directed by James Cameron (7/10)
As a tweenage boy, this movie is forbidden. As a teenage boy, this movie is awesome. As a (rather young) adult, this movie reeks of “wow, look at this cool effect we can make” and doesn’t feel like a real follow up to the first movie.
17. The Doors, directed by Oliver Stone (7*/10)
The first time I watched this I believe I was in the height of my Oliver Stone phase.
18. Black Robe, directed by Bruce Beresford (7/10)
This is an interesting film in that it portrays an era and location rarely portrayed by Hollywood (or frankly anyone else) and that it is a narrative that defies Hollywood convention.
But there are some pretty big problems, the biggest for me (and most nitpicky, I admit) is the fact that here you have French people speaking English with French accents – and I don’t know what happened with the sound, but it looked so much like they were speaking French that I actually switched the sound over, only to find out that the overdubbing look was even worse, so they were actually speaking English – and the odd Canadian (or American) speaking English as French people but with Canadian English accents. I am one of those people who believes that if you are going to translate an entire film into a language, those people shouldn’t then speak with the accent of that language (why would they?); so all those “Germans” in WWII films speaking English with German accents do drive me absolutely insane. This movie is already made in many languages. Why not make it in French too? It would have seemed less artificial and it would have felt like less of a ploy to get English viewers.
19. Star Trek 6: the Undiscovered Country, directed by Nicholas Meyer (7*/10)
Long my favourite or second favourite of the franchise, I have seen it far too many times. Shatner’s speech at the end is ridiculous, but I still feel like the film is rather solid compared to the other post-Kahn entries.
20. What About Bob?, directed by Frank Oz (7*/10)
I remember seeing this and thinking it was one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. And then I saw it again and couldn’t understand why it wasn’t one of the funniest movies I had ever seen. Both viewings were in another century.
21. At Play in the Fields of the Lord, directed by Hector Babenco (7/10)
Another film I watched right before I started keeping track of what I thought. Unfortunately at this moment my memory is not perfect, so I cannot say what I think of this.
22. The Addams Family, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld (7*/10)
I cannot be objective about this film I have seen multiple times because a) it introduced to me to the greatness of Dan Hedaya, Angelica Huston and especially Raul Julia and b) because I fell in love with Christina Ricci.
23. L.A. Story, directed by Mick Jackson (7*/10)
Haven’t seen this since I was in my mid teens.
24. City Slickers, directed by Ron Underwood (6*/10)
Loved this as a tween/teen.
25. Grand Canyon, directed by Lawrence Kasdan (6/10)
This is one of those movies that you really wish could be something significant, especially with that cast.
26. The Adjuster, directed by Atom Egoyan (6/10)
Full disclosure: I have never been a fan of Atom Egoyan. I have only ever thought one of his movies that I have seen good; that was The Sweet Hereafter and that was years ago, and I have no idea what I’d think of it now. I found at least one of his other films to be abjectly terrible.
This one seems very Egoyan-esque and so, from the outset, I am annoyed by it. To its credit, it does seem like it presages the current indie quirky dramedy trend by a few decades, so I guess it’s prescient. And the sound design is as ballsy as it gets for an otherwise seemingly conventional film.
But this feels like some seriously sub-Lynchian quirkiness. Though I normally like Koteas, I find him here to be kind of wooden – but I’m not sure it’s him, I think it’s the script. Like with so many of Egoyan’s films – and really so many films of this genre – I find Egoyan’s script to be really, really weak. Only Chaykin really seems to be able to do anything at all with it. Everyone else feels like they’re on stage, either overdoing their lines or under-selling them. (Though I must say that Khanjian is less horrible than usual, so that’s saying something!)
here are lots of interesting ideas, some neat locations and lighting, and some genuinely funny (and very dry) moments. But they don’t add up to very much. “Weird is normal!” is what he’s saying, I guess.
I will struggle with the acclaim this man gets for as long as I watch movies.
27. The Naked Gun 2 ½: the Smell of Fear, directed by David Zucker (6*/10)
I think I have seen this one the most of the three. Anyway, seen too many times to judge accurately.
28. Hot Shots, directed by Jim Abrahams (6*/10)
I have seen this way too many times to be objective about it.
29. JFK, directed by Oliver Stone (5/10)
An incredibly well made film which just happens to completely, utterly destroy the truth of what happened.
30. Robin Hood, directed by John Irvin (5*/10)
The better of the two Robin Hood movies this year; not saying much.
31. Regarding Henry, directed by Mike Nichols (5*/10)
Seen as a teen
32. Backdraft, directed by Ron Howard (5*/10)
I don’t remember this at all, but William Baldwin is in it.
33. The Rapture, directed by Michael Tolkin (5/10)
It’s hard to know what to make of this movie. I thought it was going one way for a while, then it started going another way. That second way was quite effective and should have been pursued to the end. Instead, it shifts back to its initial course and we get a budget version of the apocalypse. We are left with a vague and I guess inoffensive version of religion where our fate is indeed up to us. I don’t know Revelations well enough but I think that doesn’t quite fit with this whole idea of Rapture. I think this could have been a great film had the writer been a non-believer. The ending is in some ways like the ending of Inherit the Wind: right in the middle of the road.
34. White Fang, directed by Randal Kleiser (5*/10)
Seen when I was likely 10 or 11.
35. Shadows and Fog, directed by Woody Allen (4/10)
Very weird lesser Allen. The title is very similar to Resnais’ amazing documentary, which makes the whole thing even weirder.
3. Beauty and the Beast, directed by Gary Tousdale, Kirk Wise (4*/10)
Riley’s judgments of Disney films he watched as a tween or teen are not to be trusted.
37. A Kiss Before Dying, directed by James Dearden (4/10)
Unnecessary and frankly bizarre remake.
38. Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, directed by Kevin Reynolds (4*/10)
I changed this rating retroactively (having seen this movie multiple times as a child and tween) once I realized how ridiculous it was to have a Robin Hood movie starring Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman and Christian Slater.
39. Sleeping with the Enemy, directed by Joseph Ruben (4*/10)
I liked this as a tween or young teen and then felt guilty in my 20s.
40. Only the Lonely, directed by Chris Columbus (4*/10)
Seen as a teen or tween.
41. Body Parts, directed by Eric Red (4/10)
I feel like this rating is too high, but you must understand that it was seen in the midst of numerous truly terrible horror movies – I was part of an unofficial club – and it probably seemed really good in comparison.
42. The Last Boy Scout, directed by Tony Scott (4*/10)
I have recently read that this has become a cult movie. When I saw it I was confused more than anything. Perhaps I need to reevaluate it. But perhaps I just need to keep dismissing it as ridiculous machismo trash.
43. Hudson Hawk, directed by Michael Lehmann (4*/10)
I feel like this wasn’t anywhere near as bad as everyone said it was but I also feel like I may have been 15 when I watched it.
44. Point Break, directed by Kathryn Bigelow (3*/10)
The greatest movie of all time featuring the three greatest actors of their generation.
45. Hook, directed by Steven Spielberg (3*/10)
The inevitable anti-Spielberg bias is at play here. I’m sure this film is actually quite enjoyable. I loved it as a tween. And then I became a Spielberg-hater and changed my mind. There’s no defending this rating.
46. Oscar, directed by John Landis (3*/10)
Saw when I was perhaps too young to get it.
47. Cape Fear, directed by Martin Scorsese (3*/10)
I freely admit that this is not a 3/10 movie. But you must understand that I went into it being told that Robert DeNiro was scary-as-I-don’t-know-what and that it improved upon the original in every way possible. None of that is true and so I rated it extra low, as I am want to do, to make up for all the people who think that this version tops the original. Robert Mithchum is awesome. Don’t you forget it.
48. F/X2, directed by Richard Franklin (3*/10)
Seen multiple times as a tween and teen.
49. Nothing but Trouble, directed by Dan Aykroyd (3/10)
For reasons I cannot explain I have seen this disaster multiple times.
50. Curly Sue, directed by John Hughes (3*/10)
I have no idea if this is the most annoying movie of all-time but I know that when I was 13 it definitely was. Thanks Becky!
51. House Party 2, directed by George Jackson, Doug McHenry (3*/10)
This film required two directors! Amazing!
52. Toy Soldiers, directed by Daniel Petrie Jr. (2/10)
This is pretty much just Red Dawn with terrorists and a boarding school.
53. Freddy’s Dead: the Final Nightmare, directed by Rachel Talalay (2/10)
More of the same. But somehow better than The Dream Child.
54. Dead Space, directed by Fred Gallo (2/10)
An Alien rip-off. Read the review of Dead Space.
55. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, directed by Simon Wincer (1*/10)
There is no defending this rating.
56. Highlander 2: the Quickening, directed by Russel Mulcahy (1*/10)
Even more incoherent than the original, if that is even possible. And yet, they still made a TV series out this franchise.
57. Ernest Scared Stupid, directed by John Cherry (1/10)
Certainly one of the more inventive films of the franchise.
58. Problem Child 2, directed by Brian Levant (1/10)
Yes, I saw the sequel as well. Who didn’t?
Shorts:
“Delicacies of Molten Horror Synapse,” directed by Stan Brakhage (8/10)
Seen as part of a compilation.