2004, Religion, Society

Jesus

So, I was watching some religious TV yesterday. I’ve been paying more attention to this stuff since I started studying the Bible. Like when I was at my stepcousin’s wedding a little while ago. I was very interested in the service all of a sudden…

Anyway, Jack Van Impe was on Vision. It’s amazing, by the way, how many channels have some religious programming or even most of the day filled with it. But that’s a whole other story.

So yeah, Jack Van Impe. Firstly, his cohost looks and sounds like she’s on crank. Seriously. She scares me. I’ll have to tune in next week to see if she’s OD’ed yet.

Here’s my thing with Jack Van Impe. He’s a Christian. Yet he’s proud enough to think he knows what is happening. He seems to think he’s some kind of prophet. He claims the EU is the new world government and, furthermore, that the world is some how divided up into ten areas that supposedly correspond to the scriptures. Now, since I didn’t have a pen on me and because I was struck with incredulity, I did not write down the passages he referred to. So yeah, the second coming is near. And we’re all going to see soon that he’s right. Can somebody say vanity? It was fascinating though. It’s always interesting when people decide that one book is correct about things and a vague text (such as the Bible or anything by Nostradomus) allows for a wide variety of interpretations.

Oh, I definitely have to tell you about the 666 thing. Arbitrarily make a scale with the alphabet:

A=6, B=12, C=18 and so on so that Z=156. The final ruler of the world will bear the number of the beast (666 obviously). Now, using this arbitrary scale you know what you come up with?

C+O+M+P+U+T+E+R=666…oh my GOD! Christ must be coming! There is a computer in Japan that can do 6 billion X 8 thousand calculations per second or something like that. Soon, in the USA, there will be a computer that will do even more! Oh my GOD. Apparently the number of the beast also equals 666 according to this scale (I haven’t checked the arithmetic). The point is that the second coming is at hand and we’ll all be judged. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m fucked (oops, even more so now…thou shalt not swear!). I’m going to hell. This has nothing to do with being a good person, I just have rejected the Lord Jesus Christ and I will be doomed to eternal damnation. It’s all over for me. Bye bye.

The other show I caught a glimpse of (and unfortunately I don’t remember the preacher’s name this time, he had a doctorate in theology though…I bet Jack doesn’t have one of the those…and if he does, the people who gave it to him probably want it back…) was much better. The preacher seemed to be addressing real issues for people. The audience (Jack, by the way, didn’t have an audience) seemed hooked on his every word. And what he was saying wasn’t deplorable. Better yet, the guy wasn’t slick. He sounded like a real person who hadn’t rehearsed this a thousand times. What channel was that on? Anyway, he was looking in the Book of Ecclesiastes and talking about how one of the prophets dealt with the unknowable. It was about faith and such. Interesting stuff. I wish I had absorbed more of it so I could possibly bring it up in class.

I think I might do this every week now. Watch some Sunday TV and try and bring it into “bible study” class. Though we’ll only be doing the Bible for a few more weeks. Then it’s off to Tommy Aquinas.

I love people.

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