2013, Movies

Almost Human (2013, Joe Begos)

So Jen, I’m trying to decide if this was the worst movie I have ever seen at TIFF.

Really, Seth? That seems a little harsh.

But Jen, the opening 5-10 minutes of it were painful.

Seth, you’re right, that was bad. As was that scene in the diner, Seth.

Jen, it was like we were watching Netflix,  Jen!

Seth, it was almost as if the actors were better at acting hysterical than at just having normal conversations. Right, Seth?

Right Jen. It might be easier to act hysterical. But Jen, that script didn’t help.

No Seth, it didn’t.

I mean, Jen, if we had been playing a drinking game, drinking whenever a character said another’s name, well Jen we would have been drunk in 20 minutes.

Seth, I think you’re right. But there was that one moment.

Yeah, Jen, there was that one creepy / funny moment in the climax. It was like they tried to change the tone too late, Jen. Like they played it straight for the whole movie and tried to play the climax for laughs.

Seth, everyone else in the theatre was laughing.

Jen, you’re right, but I’ve seen way more creative / funny gore than that. Something was off: the timing of the gags, if they were gags, or the fact that the movie had been played straight for so long before the humour in the climax, Jen.

That’s true Seth, but the sound design was good.

Jen, you’re right again – but the sound was well produced for the low budget, not necessarily well written. Those musical footsteps in the climax weren’t exactly scary, Jen.

True, Seth, true. They sort of made the whole thing a little hyper-real or absurd. And, Seth, there was no denouement.

Not always a bad thing, Jen. At least that part was unconventional.

True, Seth. So what are you going to give it?

Jen, I want to give it a 4 because people laughed and I jumped exactly once, but I think I have to give it a 3. I think it was the worst movie I have ever seen at TIFF, Jen.

If you say so Seth.

I do Jen.



Until next time, Seth.

One more thing, Jen.

What, Seth?

What happened to Rob?


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