2011, Movies

Fast Five (2011, Justin Lin)

In the very first scene in this movie, most of the principals should have died. So, really, the movie shouldn’t exist.

You may wonder why I watched the fifth movie in a series without having seen the first four. In fact, you might suggest that it is totally unfair that I judge the fifth movie in a series while only having seen bits and pieces of the first film. But honestly, this movie sucks regardless of where it sits in the series.

It is interesting that this film feels really “pre-made” in the sense that the filmmakers assume we know the characters, their motivations, and their backstories. I guess that should be refreshing.

What isn’t refreshing is how, 20 minutes in, two of the main characters should have died twice already.

Obviously the audience this is intended for, teenage boys, does not care one iota about realism. But this movie is hilarious in how obvious they are that they do not care about realism if their audience doesn’t. I mean, they really couldn’t give a shit. And I guess I should admire them for that, only they aren’t creative – I mean, honestly, a car-off-a-cliff stunt? Never seen one of those before. A while into the second act, it turns into Ocean’s 11. And I don’t even know what to say about that.

If this movie was half as creative as it is physics-defying, there might have been something worthwhile about it. Alas, it is not.


Note: Having seen other movies in this series as fo 2018, I have come to the conclusion that this might be the best, meaning that either 2/10 is way too low for this movie or my other ratings of these movies are too high. Anyway, I won’t ever re-watch them, so you’re stuck with this 2/10, which is likely unfair.

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