2006, Movies

Meltdown: Days of Destruction (2006, JP Howell)

This is one of those terrible TV movies which are competently made at some level – the sound is fine, the lighting is okay, I never saw a boom mic in a shot – but are so unbelievably preposterous and poorly plotted that you wonder how they get made. (The answer is likely that many of us like to watch crap.)

Something competently made usually doesn’t quite deserve a 1/10 for me, but there are two reasons why I really think this deserves the lowest rating:

  1. There are very few locations in this movie and they’re a clear sign that there is no budget. The worst of them is the basement that they wander around in, pretending it’s a “sewer.” This is the the best lit, cleanest, most pipe-filled sewer you’ve ever seen.
  2. The second is the paint by numbers plot: they take a ridiculous scenario – an asteroid misses the earth and somehow knocks it off its orbit – and make it boring and as stupid as it could be because they feel they need to have a romantic conflict and they feel like they need a father-daughter conflict; neither is fleshed out and both make just about zero sense – so little sense that I found myself asking the GF if we had missed something about 7 times.

Not an all timer, but as bad as it could be without being incompetent.

1/10

  • Directed by J.P. Howell
  • Writing Credits: Rick Drew
  • Cast:
    • Casper Van Dien: Tom
    • Vincent Gale: Nathan
    • Stefanie von Pfetten: Carly
    • Venus Terzo: Bonnie
    • Amanda Crew: Kimberly
    • Ryan McDonell: C.J.
    • Greg Anderson: Mick
    • Bill Dow: Olsen
    • Patricia Drake: ER Nurse
    • Philip Granger: Frank
    • David Quinlan: Gary
    • Dee Jay Jackson: Fire Chief
    • Donovan Cerminara: Goon Leader
    • Bruno Verdoni: Garner
    • Derek Hamilton: Rat Leader
    • Keith Martin Gordey: Government Official
    • Floyd Faircrest: Santos
    • Chad Sayn: Goon #2
    • Trevor Addie: Goon #3
    • Kimani Ray Smith: Rat #2
    • Lars Grant: Rat #3
    • Ron Robinson: Harland
    • Brad Kelly: Santos Gunman #1
    • Martin Szlavy: Santos GuNman #2
    • Jaye Gazeley: Garner’s Gunman #1
    • Brett Armstrong: Garner’s Gunman #2

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