2013, Movies

From the Sea aka Atlantic Rim (2013, Jared Cohn)

The Asylum takes on Pacific Rim. (Honestly it’s sad they changed the name.)

This is a terrible movie, but you knew that already. It’s one of those movies where the list of things about it that are bad are hard to enumerate, because the are so many. So, where to begin?

  • The script is terrible, of course. For many reasons. But one reason is there’s not a whole lot of it. There are moments when the characters just, like, look at each other. Almost as if they’re waiting for someone to speak. it’s really bizarre.
  • The plot is pretty bare-bones. There’s a monster. And then there are more monsters. That’s nearly it, with the exception of “Red” being thrown in jail for some reason. There really isn’t any plot beyond “This is Pacific Rim, get it?”
  • The locations are hysterical. The opening shot of the base is clearly in the desert but, though this film was originally titled Atlantic Rim it takes place, at least partially, in New Orleans, supposedly.
  • Graham Greene gives perhaps the worst performance of his career. He’s just a caricature. Though he may have snuck in a Holy Grail reference, so that’s something to appreciate.
  • And there are these moments when actors you’ve never seen or barely seen before have lines, but they’re just on the phone (i.e. they’re not talking to anyone). That’s…really weird.

I’m sure I would have more if I had taken notes but it’s an Asylum movie, so we know it’s bad.

It’s far from the worst I’ve ever seen, though, including Asylum films. The CGI, for example, is bad, but hardly all-time bad. And though the star is awful, and Greene is not good, some of the rest of the cast are fine. (Sheldon, who is barely referred to by that name in the movie, is the worst actor with more than one line. He is just horrible.)

This film has a preposterously low 1.6/10 on IMDB. To be clear, if it had enough votes it would be rated as the Worst Movie of All Time. And it’s most definitely not.


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