Usually, I’m pretty good about rating a film I’ve watched through Mystery Science Theater 3000. But, apparently, not in this instance. As this film as starting, I got a massive sense of deja vu and so I went to its Wikipedia page and saw that I had indeed already watched it (or most of it) through MST3K. But, given, that MST3K doesn’t show the whole film, and given how stupid this film is, I went ahead.

This film stars Caroline Munro, who I guess was a bit of a British sexpot. (And who rarely dresses for the weather. I’m pretty sure spaceships are cold.) But it also stars the bizarre Marjoe Gortner, a former preacher, who has one of the most unique looks in cinema. (His eyes plus his hair…I swear I’ve seen him in something before this. Or maybe I’ve seen someone referencing him.) Oh, and the Hoff shows up, too, which is amazing. And there’s a guest appearance by Canada’s own Christopher Plummer (slumming to a degree I didn’t think happened until he was much older).

The whole thing is kind of incomprehensible and feels like an excuse for Munro to parade around in thigh-high/knee-high boots and revealing tops. (And whatever she is wearing in the final scene. Doesn’t this woman get cold? That’s a joke because she literally gets cold.)

The effects are fairly terrible and I get get over how weird and vaguely super human Gortner looks.

But there is a sense of fun, if you are open to it. This movie may pretend to be serious but its budget is too low to ever really convince you of how serious it pretends to be.

The dumbest thing about this movie is that its heroine and hero are not involved in the climax, which feels bizarrely intentional but it also deviates wildly from movie conventions (in a way that, in a film like this, has no value).

That’s not fair…she is involved in the second climax. Which is cheating.

Anyway: Imperial Battleship, halt the flow of time!

3/10

PS Poor John Barry. Imagine needing to take this film to pay the bills.