Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010, James Nguyen)

Categories: 2010 and Movies.

I have seen a lot of bad movies in my life (though fewer recently) so I have pretty high (low?) standards for my “Worst Movies of All Time” list. For me, a film has to be have zero redeeming qualities about it for me to consider it one of the worst films ever made. Most movies do not fit that definition. Even my last few 1 star reviews were of films that had at least one redeeming quality. This film, on the other hand… Read More

Zoombies (2016, Glenn Miller)

Categories: 2016 and Movies.

I don’t go on Twitter much, but every so often I see a movie that I feel like the only true way to express its awfulness is through live tweeting. This is one of those movies. This film takes a routine zombie plot – infected monkeys infect others (always the damn monkeys! can’t whales get a turn?!?) – and makes it about as terrible as it could possibly be. I mean, the ineffectualness of everything in this film – save, perhaps, Ione Butler’s commitment to her character – is staggering. And there was so much of it that the only Read More

Nazis at the Center of the Earth (2012, Joseph J. Lawson)

Categories: 2012 and Movies.

I have seen a lot of bad movies in my life (I used to be in a bad-movie-watching pseudo-club) so saying that this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen really, really means something. It is truly terrible on pretty much every level. But it brings up a bit of an issue, which is: Which is worse? The movie that you know, going in, is going to be absolutely terrible, and is; or the movie that has money behind it, should at least be average because of its budget and talent, and is a horrible experience, even Read More

What was your worst dating experience ever? Yes I want details :op

Categories: Personal.

Um, I don’t know that I’ve ever had a terrible date. I think I’ve probably given a girl or two a terrible date experience but I have never gone away from something thinking “that was terrible.” I did have one which was totally utterly pointless because there was no reason for me to be there. But it wasn’t like it was painfully awkward or anything. The girl was a hip-hop-listening business student. I did sort of ask myself, “how did this happen exactly?” Another time I tried to date this girl who a friend assured me was “gorgeous” (I have Read More

What was the worst place you’ve traveled to?

Categories: Personal and Travel.

Ooh, that’s a toughy. There aren’t too many bad places. Even if the place appears lame in some way shape or form it is still new. But I think the worst one would probably be Atikokan. View Larger Map Only because I was there at lunch time, on a weekday no less, and nothing was open. And there were tons of people out on the street corners staring at me because I was a stranger. Read More

Worst lyrics ever?

Categories: Music.

There have been some truly bad lyrics since “rock” music appeared lo those many years ago. One set of lines that manages to still stick in my head years later is a famous Backstreet Boys chorus, “I don’t care who you are Where you’re from What You did As long as you love me.” I mean, I get the sentiment. All this boy wants is for a girl to love him. Aww. Even if she’s from Fredericton, that’s okay. Even if she’s committed a few misdemeanors in the past, that’s okay. Even is she’s a bitch, that’s okay. That’s the Read More

Caged Terror (1973, directed by Barrie McLean, Kristen Weingartner): An Appreciation

Categories: 1973 and Movies.

Yesterday, I reminded myself that I am not the man I used to be. I drank lots of beer during the Sens game, and then promptly crashed during dinner, because I can’t drink like I used to, so I stopped drinking, so I crashed. Anyway, as a remedy, I decided I would watch a shitty movie and rejuvenate myself. There are always shitty movies on digital cable, after all. Firstly, Caged Terror (aka Golden Apples of the Sun…I’m serious) is Canadian. That’s its first problem. To call it a “horror” film would be a disservice to the word horror, and Read More