One day, I really will live tweet or live blog a movie, instead of posting my comments after the fact. I’m sorry to say that my comments below don’t have time stamps.

SPOILERS! (As if that matters…)

• It sure doesn’t look like Finland…that’s because it’s Bavaria. It’s the same thing, really.
• Samuel L. Jackson is miscast, but at least he’s trying not to be himself, at least in the initial scenes. (But shouldn’t he just be Samuel L? I mean, shouldn’t he just be crazy? Shouldn’t he just be shouting the N-word at everyone?)
• Testing surface-to-air missiles on surface targets seems…oh, I don’t know…Stupid? Yeah…
• These terrorists planned for everything, except a little Finnish boy.
• Why does the President have a passport? Apparently he has a diplomatic passport. However, he wouldn’t have it in his pocket. Would he?
• Does the US have a base in Scandinavia?
• Don’t cock your weapons, or this will happen to you!

• Did Obama piss his pants during a State of the Union?!?!
• This satellite is awesome. It can see everything!
• We’re in the middle of nowhere in Finland*, but I still have internet/phone banking! (*Not actually Finland.)
• It’s perfectly reasonable for a helicopter to drag a freezer through a forest and the helicopter has no issues! That’s totally believable.
• This satellite is just fucking incredible.
• Freezer’s float?
• “Gentleman, it is time for me to state the obvious in case people are not paying attention: we just found the crash site of Air Force One!”
• The Vice-President did it! I knew it! I should have stayed with my guess at the outset. He looks evil!
• The text is coming from inside the (white) house!
• Does this helicopter run out of fuel ever?
• Oh shit, now that a bomb exploded a day after that plane crash, I better go look into the plane crash.
• Jim Broadbent did it!

3/10