2015 in Movies

Movie reviews for movies released theatrically (or released to streaming services) in 2015.

1. The Big Short, directed by Adam McKay (10/10)

The most essential film of 2015. Read the review of The Big Short.

2. Anomalisa, directed by Duke Johnson, Charlie Kaufman (9/10)

Kaufman is probably the most interesting American screenwriter of his era. This film is based on his 2005 “sound play” (i.e. a modern stage equivalent of an old radio play).

POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT

It’s an incredibly innovative solution, using puppets to create a world which was non-existent in the play. Puppets are particularly appropriate for this material. (But I won’t say anything about the story because I believe you should just see it…)

The story is both incredibly funny and affecting. And once again Kaufman has found a way to create an utterly unique experience for a story that, in the hands of others, would be pretty conventional.

The only reason I don’t praise it even higher is that it feels like he’s covering much of the same ground as Eternal Sunshine and, well, that movie was, for me, an even greater achievement.

2. Spotlight, directed by Tom McCarthy (9/10)

This is a nearly note-perfect newspaper film about the Boston Globe’s investigation into the Catholic Church’s protection of pedophile priests. It’s nearly the All the President’s Men for our decade, it’s that good. The film ropes you in with some office politics and unfolds the horrible story slowly, which builds tension, despite our knowledge of the outcome. It wastes little time on the personal lives on the reports involved and instead concentrates on the story. Just a few minor quibbles:

  • Ruffalo’s big blow up feels like it was mandated by someone. As if someone watched an earlier version of the film and asked “Where’s the drama?” (There’s plenty of it. But there weren’t any big speeches.) It feels like it belongs in a lesser film.
  • Though the soundtrack is, at times, effective, it is also, at times, curious and occasionally feels out of whack with what’s on screen.
  • There are a couple of shots that feel oddly unnecessary and I don’t know why they’re there.

But these are minor quibbles (save Ruffalo’s blow up). On the whole, this is an excellent movie and was a candidate for the best movie I’d seen released in 2015 to that point in the year.

4. Best of Enemies, directed by Robert Gordon, Morgan Neville (9/10)

Read the review of Best of Enemies.

5. What Happened, Miss Simone? directed by Liz Garbus (9/10)

I’ve not yet gotten around to listening to Nina Simone so this is all new to me.

The filmmakers do an excellent job – a superior job – of combining archival pictures and Simone’s own audio interview – with a relative paucity of talking heads – to give a fantastic of Simone’s life and music, and her times – it’s almost as if it’s told by her herself.

This is how you do a biography on film.

Note: The rest of the review was accidentally deleted.

6. Green Room, directed by Jeremy Saulnier (8/10)

This is the second straight excellent thriller from Saulnier, featuring “real people” in movie thriller situations. Much like his classic Blue Ruin – which I strongly, strongly suggest you see if you haven’t seen yet – this film combines an incredibly tense thriller with elements of (very) dark comedy, to great effect.

I had such high hopes for this film that I was initially disappointed by the first act. However, things really kick into gear later and it’s liable to be the tensest film you see this year.

It’s not Blue Ruin. It’s obviously not as original, it’s not as ruthless with it’s deconstruction of thriller cliches, and it’s not as effective a critique of US gun laws, but it is still an excellent and entertaining thriller which you should go see as soon as possible.

7. Cartel Land, directed by Matthew Heinemen (8/10)

This is a documentary about vigilantes that have appeared on both sides of the US-Mexican border as a result of the Cartels. The filmmakers takes a journalistic approach – as far as we can tell – for the most part and aims to document the vigilantes and their beliefs, rather than support or condemn them. (However, it is fairly clear from editing and from some scoring that he is on the side of one particular Mexican vigilante…you might say the “hero” of the piece.) The film gives you unbelievable access to two groups and you get as close to the “ground truth” as you can without going there yourself.

The film’s attempt at objectivity might also be the one point we can quibble with: by not condemning these groups there is tacit (and sometimes overt) endorsement. And though the film does depict issues with the groups, I think it could have picked sides a little stronger.

Anyway, it’s well worth your time.

8. Bridge of Spies, directed by Steven Spielberg (8/10)

I struggle with so many of Spielberg’s film because, even though he is very good at many things, he can rarely trust his audience, to treat them as adults. This is the rare Spielberg film that doesn’t feel second-guessed, that doesn’t feel like Spielberg had a freak-out about whether or not his audience would feel down at the end, and I guess that’s because of the source material. (It’s supposedly “punched up” by the Coens, which doesn’t hurt.) A true story with a happy ending is perhaps more up his alley than a story – true or otherwise – where he feels like he has to impose one.

Everything about this film is well done – the normal excellence of Spielberg films in terms of shots, pacing and the like is here. And since it’s harder for Spielberg to sabotage the story for his childish whims, there’s only one really corny moment in the denouement to really make someone like me resent who directed it. Aside from that one moment, it’s pretty great storytelling. And it’s one his better films, I think. (This is coming from someone who thinks Spielberg is perhaps the most overrated filmmaker in the history of medium, so that’s saying something.)

9. Thought Crimes, directed by Erin Lee Carr (8/10)

This is a provocative and morally ambiguous film about the so-called “Cannibal Cop,” the NYPD police officer who was charged and convicted of conspiracy to kidnap women, without kidnapping any women, and certainly without eating anyone.

The film is not the best technically made film you will ever seen. The pacing isn’t perfect and some of the shots depicting the porn at issue were oddly distorted.

However, this is still a must-see documentary. The film depicts the rather alarming nature of the “trial by outrage” of a person who actually didn’t do the vast majority of the stuff he was accused of. His internet fantasies and Google search history are, instead, taken as proof that he would have acted eventually. (Please remember that this is where we are going with terrorism in Canada once C-51 passes, folks. Someone only needs to search for how to do it to be guilty.) I can’t tell you how alarming that is to me.

The film sides with him, legally, which I think is correct, but lets you worry about the moral and ethical issues, as well as the nature of these types of disorders, without forcing you to a conclusion. And I love that in a documentary.

Pretty near mandatory viewing, given how much we all use the internet.

10. La calle de la amargura aka Bleak Street, directed by Arturo Ripstein (8/10)

This is an utterly gorgeously shot film about life in particularly downtrodden corner of what I must assume is Mexico City or some other major Mexican city. It’s practically Dickensian in its depiction of life in the shittier parts of a city.

Honestly, the film is so well shot that I was rapt by it and really didn’t spend too much time on whether or not the plot was actually solid, or anything like that. It was amusing, at times, though. But everything about the production design is so well done that I didn’t care about anything else.

This guy is a master director and I really need to see his other films.

11. Max Max: Fury Road, directed by George R. Miller (8/10)

It’s been years since I’ve seen the original trilogy in any kind of thorough way (since Thunderdome used to be on TV all the time, I’ve seen parts of it more than the other two) and I have to say I wasn’t keen on this movie. I hate remakes / reboots in principle (unless they are done effectively, which is relatively rare) and frankly, my favourite of the trilogy is the first one, whereas it seems like everyone else’s favourite is the sequel. This movie takes its cue from the sequel, as is obvious from the ads.

Read the rest of the review.

12. Demon, directed by Marcin Wrona (8/10)

This is the most unique horror comedy I’ve seen in some time. Whereas most horror comedies are ready to notify their intention to get you to laugh early on (and usually to laugh instead of scream or to laugh and only occasionally scream) this movie’s humour is rooted in the absurd dramedy of a cast of characters at a Polish wedding. The humour is based almost exclusively in the characters and their situation and has nothing to do with horror movie conventions, and I really cannot tell you the last time I saw a horror comedy that wasn’t concerned with mocking horror movie conventions. That’s because this is a unique and unusual “horror” film.

Read the full review.

13. Sicario, directed by Denis Villeneuve (8/10)

One scene away from being a classic or near-classic. Read the review of Sicario.

14. Speed Sisters, directed by Amber Fares (8/10)

This is an entertaining and captivating documentary about the Palestinian women’s car racing team, who supply their own cars, who race against men (and each other) and who practice in empty parking lots and on local streets.

Read the rest of the review.

15. Hitchcock/Truffault, directed by Kent Jones (8/10)

This is not a “great” film in many ways; it’s condescending in its use of screen effects – for example, they highlight the text of sooooooooooooooooo many things on screen and it’s soooooooo annoying – but I don’t care.

Hitchcock was the first filmmaker I fell in love with and even if I don’t love him any more, it was still fascinating and wonderful to hear all these people pouring out their love for this work.

And though I have a love/hate relationship with Truffaut, this has too much great insight – from Hitchcock and Truffaut but also from the great directors interviewed about Truffaut’s book – to nitpick about the filmmaking techniques of the not so great director who made this movie. It’s also pretty funny at times.

Pretty much essential viewing for anyone into filmmaking.

16. Censored Voices, directed by Mor Loushy (8/10)

A compelling story of the other side of the Six Day War. Read the review of Censored Voices.

17. The Martian, directed by Ridley Scott (8/10)

This is a well-made and compelling hard science fiction film that succeeds despite (because of?) its traditional plot and it’s rather odd structure.

I haven’t seen Robinson Crusoe on Mars but I imagine The Martian is just a very polished retelling. There is nothing particularly new or original about the story of someone living on their own far away from humanity, nor is there much original in a rescue mission to save a stranded colleague.

However, the film’s strong (All Star) cast, its production values, and, perhaps most of all, its near docudrama storytelling style – it’s a little like The Right Stuff in some senses – make it as believable as it needs to be. This is a very traditional story made with both the best of modern film-making technology and a relatively modern conceit.

Despite its length I found it entertaining and engrossing and had little to criticize. Maybe the film succeeds because it’s so simple in its overarching story, and its desire to only tell that story (and not, say, a bunch of other subplots). Or maybe it succeeds because everything around that story is so well designed and performed. Either way, it’s pretty good.

18. Hardcore Henry aka Hardcore, directed by Ilya Naishuller (8/10)

have never seen anything like this. This is an action film made using GoPros, filmed entirely from POV. It is essentially a video game as a film. To my knowledge, this has never been done before in a feature, fictional film.

The film suffers from a number of issues: it is entirely too much like a first-person video game – not just a first-person shooter but any first person game – as it relies on the other characters to explain the plot in completely unnatural ways. It’s also probably misogynist and, at times, it is almost impossible to watch due to the excessively shaky camera. Also, the CGI is too clearly CGI in a couple scenes in the climax.

But this is a path-breaking film and whatever flaws it has should be overlooked because it manages to take an utterly unique concept and make it very entertaining. Coply is in full Peter Sellers mode here – or should I say Alec Guinness mode? – and it’s yet another role(s) he has added to his resume that makes him one of the most exciting actors in the world. Seriously, the man should be a star, instead of someone who only film nerds worship.

A daring and entertaining reinvention of the genre.

19. Spy, directed by Paul Feig (8/10)

There have been a lot of Bond parodies, both in film and on TV. A lot. And it’s kind of been done to death. One of the reasons I love Archer so much is what it does with its tired premise.

Well, this is another, surprisingly fresh take on it, in part because it combines McCarthy’s shtick – which I was unaware of – with the Bond parody, which allows for humour in a Bond parody that, well, wouldn’t have been present were a man in the lead role. So it’s a refreshing twist that’s shockingly funny and shockingly (and refreshingly) crude. The leads are all excellent – Statham is particularly fantastic mocking himself – and the laughs don’t let up. I really enjoyed it and I am quite surprised.

Also, I just wanted to note that this is the rare Hollywood film made in Hungary that admits it’s in Hungary, so there’s that.

20. City of Gold, directed by Laura Gabbert (7/10)

Now I actually want to go to LA. Read the review of City of Gold.

21. Amy, directed by Asif Kapadia (7/10)

This is a documentary about Amy Winehouse, her life, short career and struggles with fame and substance abuse. As a society, we always seem to gravitate to those artists we lose early in life, but in this particular case it seems that more of the story is about the problems of fame – and, particularly, the awfulness of the UK tabloids – than the music, as Winehouse apparently didn’t produce very much music in her lifetime (if the movie is anything to go by).

It’s a tragic story that we’ve heard many times before: music is salvation from personal demons but the resulting fame brings more problems, resurfaces the old ones, and brings additional exploitation – by family, friends, media.

The film focuses a great deal on “home videos” and candid interviews and so likely gives fans an intimate portrait they were unable to get while she was alive. For those of us who weren’t fans, however, it serves more as a tragedy – we watch as her life progressively spirals out of control and we never learn if things like this can be averted.

22. Ninth Floor, directed by Mina Shum (7/10)

This is an important film for Canadians, about a subject that should have been turned into a documentary years ago, no doubt. And it is a necessary part of our history. However, I’m not sure this film is the film the events at Sir George Williams University in 1968 and 1969 deserve.

This is Shum’s first documentary and it’s rather glaringly obvious. She jumps around in time a little and has a bunch of seemingly superfluous scenes – including a performance of “Redemption Song” – which could have been replaced by more information. Shum assumes too much knowledge on the part of the audience – I say this as someone who knew literally nothing about this incident – and really fails to give a complete accounting of the story.

All that being said, this film contains so many illustrative moments for Canadians – especially the majority of Canadians, i.e. white, anglo Canadians and enough powerful interviews with the participants that it’s hard to be really critical.

This movie is flawed but I still recommend it as a necessary corrective and an important document of our not-so-ideal past (and possibly, our present).

23. The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution, directed by Stanley Nelson (7/10)

Age is a funny thing.

I watched this movie months ago, perhaps more than that, on Netflix and forgot to review it (I think!), forgot to rate it, both things I do religiously. And then I got it from the library this week. When I started watching it (because Olympic golf is on!) I got the strongest sense of deja vu.

I remember it being a pretty thorough examination of an important and complicated part of US history. It’s a standard documentary but it’s educational and it’s a story that needs to be told.

I will say that I always love these documentaries of radicals, where most of the survivors are now wearing suits and conducting interviews in their nice houses. Not only does age make you forget when you watched a movie, it makes you forget (or betray, or learn to overcome) your principles.

24. Comoara, directed by Corneliu Porumboiu (7/10)

This is a gentle but amusing examination of life in contemporary Romania: the absurdities, the bureaucracy and the dreams that make those bearable.

MILD SPOILERS

The film suggests it is going one direction – a dark direction – but then does not ever go that direction and then, instead, the miraculous happens. It’s rather incredible that we live in a world now where “artificial” happy endings can feel fresh and new, but that’s what Porumboiu does here. He plays with recent film conventions to make an old Hollywood-style ending seem fresh and believable.

25. The Clan, directed by Pablo Trapero (7/10)

Though I see a lot of movies – and I mean a lot of movies – and I can usually articulate what I like and don’t like in a particular film, there are always one or two where I feel like there is something wrong but I can’t articulate it, I just feel it. This is one of those movie.

Read the rest of the review.

26. The Club, directed by Pablo Larrain (7/10)

This is an extremely black comedy – as black as black comedies get – about a group of delinquent priests that have been forced to “retire” in a house in a small town in Chile.

Read the full review.

27. The Wolfpack, directed by Crystal Moselle (7/10)

This is a crazy story which is, as others have noted, a little reminiscent of the classic Grey Gardens – 7 siblings virtually trapped in their parents’ apartment for 14 years, with only movies to educate them. It’s fascinating stuff and is reasonably well told. But I agree with the criticism that it’s a little myopic. And the documentary fails to answer some of our questions, questions that might have been fairly easily answered, especially had the filmmaker talked to someone other than the family.

That being said, it’s still a really unique story that you should check out, as there aren’t too many other families like this (I hope).

28. April 25, directed by Leanne Pooley (7/10)

This is a fascinating attempt at creating a different kind of documentary about war and the past in general: the diaries and journals of six participants in the Gallipoli campaign (it’s the 100th anniversary this year) are used as the sole narration for an animated film about the campaign.

This film is not realistic, and perhaps that was one of my hangups. The filmmakers were not attempting to be realistic, rather they were trying to approach the subject in a unique way, which they certainly did. Some of the animation is, for me, too ‘graphic novel’ for such a serious subject. But it’s an innovative solution to the problem that there could be no true talking heads, as everyone who participated is long dead.

An interesting idea, even if, for me, it didn’t work entirely.

29. Nasser, directed by Jihan El-Tahir (7/10)

This is an exhaustive documentary about Egypt’s President Nasser. It appears to be meticulously researched and apparently reveals some things that were relative secrets until the present – such as Russian pilots defending Egyptian skies between the 6 Day War and the Yom Kippur War.

As journalism, it’s pretty good. As a film… well, this is more of a history lecture. And the newspaper headline signifier is a very tired device – I mean, how many movies have you seen it in? El-Tahri uses it way too much (and rather clunkily). Also, both of us felt like we were in university again.

But, even though as a film, it’s not entirely successful, it’s hard to criticize something too much that is this informative. (And, also, to her credit, this film ambivalent about its subject. It’s a rare thing for a documentary filmmaker to try not to judge…)

30. Breaking a Monster, directed by Luke Meyer (7/10)

This film about a tween-age metal band made up of black kids from Brooklyn made me feel much the same way as watching one of those beauty pageant documentaries though these kids actually want to play music.

There is a real question to be asked about whether or not these kids are being exploited. The movie dances around it which is both to its credit – I like when a film doesn’t tell us what to think – and also a problem – I worry the filmmakers may have bought into these kids (and what Sony and their manager claim to think about them) a little too much.

The film is an interesting portrait of what no doubt happens too much nowadays: a group gets some YouTube fame and people with power and money try to exploit the situation.

31. Brooklyn, directed by John Crowley (7/10)

Nice to look at. Read the review.

32. Carol, directed by Todd Haynes (7/10)

Well done but not my thing. Read the review.

33. Rak ti Khon Kaen, directed by Apichatpong Weerasethakul (7/10)

Not my thing. Read the review of Cemetery of Splendour.

34. Climate Change by the Numbers, directed by ? (7/10)

This is an interesting TV documentary about mathematical models in climate science. It’s rather cursory in its overall focus – three mathematicians explain to us three numbers from the IPCC’s report – but rather detailed in the individual segments. It’s a good example of good popular science TV, as it’s easy to understand and interesting enough, but its made-for-tv nature and it’s relative brevity keep it from being a must watch.

35. Inside Out, directed by Pete Docter, Ronnie Del Carmen (6/10)

I think this is likely unfair because it’s probably quite a decent kids’ movie but I was quite bored. Read the review of Inside Out.

36. Chevalier, directed by Athina Rachel Tsangari (6/10)

A “men behaving badly” film and your enjoyment of it depends on your tolerance for these types of films. Read the review of Chevalier.

37. The Invitation, directed by Karyn Kusama (6/10)

Not in the right mood. Read the review of The Invitation.

38. The Final Girls, directed by Todd Strauss-Schulson (6/10)

I enjoyed the conceit and many of the jokes work well but there are continuity errors a-plenty. Read the review of The Final Girls.

39. The Witch, directed by Robert Eggers (6/10)

Overrated.

Read the spoilerific review.

40. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, directed by Christopher McQuarrie (6/10)

This is an entertaining film – and another one of the successful sequels in what has to be one of the more surprising franchises of the last few years – and it is continuing the recent trend of having real stunts in blockbusters.

Unfortunately, too many of these otherwise good stunts go too far and arrive in the realm of supreme (sublime?) ridiculousness. Also, at this point, the number of lines directed at praising Cruise’s character – including an utterly ridiculous speech by Alec Baldwin’s character near the end of the film – is really, really trying.

But as these things go, I would rather watch something like this than a number of other Cruise films and a lot of other blockbusters.

41. Spectre, directed by Sam Mendes (6/10)

Watching a James Bond on a plane is probably not the greatest idea. Alas, I did.

The return to pseudo-realism that Casino Royale supposedly heralded seems to have completely gone for the later Craig Bond films. Spectre is as go-for-broke spectacle as Skyfall though it is, on the most part, less absurdly epic. The rest of the film feels vaguely in the vein of one of the recent Mission Impossible movies – I can’t remember which one – where everyone has turned on our hero (and, in this case, heroes). Some of the stunts work well, some are too ridiculous. As with all Bond villain plots, the master plan is absurd, though hardly as absurd as some previous plans. Fiennes is under-utilized, but I guess that’s because he’s M.

Those are my stray thoughts.

42. Star Wars: The Force Awakens, directed by JJ Ambrams (6/10)

Read the review of The Force Awakens.

43. Chuck Norris vs Communism, directed by Ilinca Calugareanu (6/10)

This is a brief, by-the-numbers documentary which combines talking heads with rote dramatizations to tell the powerful story of how American films changed life in Romania during the Cold War. Unfortunately, I already saw Hotel Dallas, a far more interesting (albeit difficult) film more or less about the same theme. This pales in comparison.

That’s not to say it’s worth watching, just that I would choose Hotel Dallas over this film if you want to know about the impact of American culture in Romania in the ’80s. It’s far more interesting and provocative.

44. Ant-Man, directed by Peyton Reed (6/10)

This is a reasonably enjoyable “goofy” Marvel movie, of the kind that doesn’t take itself too seriously. And it has to be, since the whole idea of Ant-Man seems kind of ridiculous.

There are some rather massive plot issues that would drive me insane if it wasn’t amusing. It’s not so amusing that I really enjoyed it, but it’s amusing enough (especially some of the site gags in the climax) that I really could forgive some of the really silly plot holes.

But this is just another moderately amusing Marvel film. There are so many films in this universe now that it’s overwhelming, and I basically just watch them when I am not looking for something I have to think about it. I can’t really think of much that distinguishes this one from so many others, save that it’s more entertaining than many of them.

45. Danny Says, directed by Brendan Toller (6/10)

A fascinating look at the life of a “connector” in New York City. Read the review of Danny Says.

46. Heart of a Dog, directed by Laurie Anderson (6/10)

A meditation on death that is a little too unfocused for my tastes. Read the review of Heart of a Dog.

47. Jack, directed by Elisabeth Sharang (6/10)

What do we do with fictional films that drastically deviate from the truth?

I am a strong believer that, in the right circumstances poetic justice is not only a right of the artist but a necessity. However, I do feel like there is a line between the search for poetic “truth” and being disingenuous, being willfully ignorant and being deceptive. So, uh…

SPOILERS

This is an engaging story about Jack Unterwerger, an Austrian killer/celebrity author, featuring a bravura performance from Johannes Krisch, a performance that may stand as the best I see in a movie from 2015.

The problem with the film – beyond its overuse of music cues – is that it absolutely does not tell the truth. A quick googling will tell you that the film’s version of events is highly problematic. That might be okay if it were more clear, from the film, that this is entirely from his perspective, but it doesn’t make that clear enough, if that’s even the approach that Sharang took. And that’s a problem, because Unterwerger is made to be a compassionate figure and, well, if the real evidence is considered, he likely was a serial killer.

The film itself is mostly a success and, had I not done the briefest bit of research to establish that this version of events is balderdash, I might have rated it higher.

48. Focus, directed by Glenn Ficarra, John Requa (6/10)

I vacillated between a 6 and a 5 for this one but it’s slick enough I felt like I had to give it a six. Read my review of Focus.

49. The Hunger Games: The Mockingjay – Part 2, directed by Francis Lawrence (5/10)

Read the review of The Mockingjay Part 2.

50. The Avengers: Age of Ultron, directed by Joss Whedon (5/10)

Yet another Marvel movie. Read the review The Age of Ultron.

51. Magic Mike XXL, directed by Gregory Jacobs (5/10)

Not the movie the first one was. Read the review of Magic Mike XXL.

52. The Night Before, directed by Jonathan Levine (5/10)

A bunch of different movies, rolled into one. And not funny enough. Read the review The Night Before.

53. Jurassic World, directed by Colin Trevorrow (5/10)

In many ways, this feels like a retread of the first film that fails to understand the message of the first film. Read the review of Jurassic World.

54. Hell House LLC, directed by Stephen Cognetti (5/10)

A found footage horror film with lots of potential and the usual found footage problems plus additional ones. Read the review of Hell House LLC.

55. Crimson Peak, directed by Guillermo del Toro (5/10)

A creepy house and some red ooze in search of a story. (And scares.) Read the review of Crimson Peak.

56. Being Canadian, directed by Robert Cohen (5/10)

This is one of those “personal journey” documentaries where the filmmaker inserts himself into the narrative because that ostensibly gives us greater insight. In this case he travels across Canada and interviews Canadian celebrities.

This is exactly the kind of movie about Canada you would expect a Canadian to make. In fact, it’s rather funny that it was made by a Canadian living and working in America, because it’s not much better than what we would find on Canadian television.

The movie is mildly amusing as befits the filmmaker’s day job as a sitcom writer for a bunch of shows I will never watch. It isn’t particularly illuminating, as the interviews included only reveal that all Canadians appear to feel the same way. There are some good lines, and it’s nice to see all of these people in one place, but I would have liked to learn something. And the little bits and pieces of parody that he inserts into this film are so mild and inoffensive (like his writing I assume) that they really don’t get the laughs they should.

On the plus side, all your favourite Canadian celebrities are here (or at least, the vast majority of them) and there’s some nice shots of Canada. And because it’s about Canada and I’m Canadian. I couldn’t hate it, even though I wanted to at times.

57. Krampus, directed by Michael Dougherty (4/10)

Disappointing. Read the review of Krampus.

58. The Return of the Atom, directed by Jussi Eerola, Mika Taanila (4/10)

This is an episodic and pretentious documentary about Finland’s newest nuclear power plant that manages to somehow both be hysterical (not “hysterical” as in “funny” but hysterical as in “insane”) and, somehow, extremely boring.

Read the full review The Return of the Atom.

59. A Christmas Horror Story (4/10)

I got talked into bumping this up to a 4. Not sure how I feel about that.

Read the review of A Christmas Horror Story.

60. Furious 7, directed by James Wan (3/10)

Full disclosure: I did not actually watch the entirety of this stupid movie, as I was sick and I fell asleep before the climax. Or maybe I didn’t, I’m not quite sure.

But I watched most of it. and I what I saw was extremely typical of this ridiculous franchise.

One example is when Dom supposedly dies and that car falling down the building isn’t any more dangerous than any of the other things he’s survived, in this movie and others.

The gang are just military operatives now, which makes so much sense.

The way they handle Paul Walker’s death is really bizarre and awkward.

But the most insulting thing is the bizarre retconning of Tokyo Drift in which, somehow, that takes place at the same time. Lucas Black is show in a scene from that film and then again in the next scene, 10 years older, and we’re not supposed to notice. It’s just bizarre that they would do that. What’s also bizarre is that nobody cares. Everyone thinks this shit is just fine.

The writers think you’re stupid. Or they know you don’t care. Either way, it’s not good.

61. Last Knights, directed by Kazuaki Kriya (3/10)

This is a horribly over-cast movie – who knew that was a thing? – that uses a pretense from its script to explain away the rather annoying fact that practically everyone in the cast is from  a different country (i.e. has a glaringly different accent). I say it’s ‘over-cast’ because there are a whole host of famous people in it – not just Morgan Freeman and Clive Owen but lots of other recognizable faces, most of them far more famous in their home countries. Why are they in this movie?

The script sounds like a teenage boy writing a fantasy story for the first time. The CGI is brutal too.

SPOILER ALERT

And the twist is a rather lame one which relies on Clive Owen doing his The Knick thing – albeit a poor version of it – for much of the film.

A lame film.

62. Insurgent, directed by Robert Schwentke (3/10)

In case you weren’t sure, this movie is part of the “The Divergent Series” so it’s proper title is The Divergent Series: Insurgent. (Yes, they think that much of us.) This movie is either significantly worse than the first one or I was in a good mood when I saw the first film.

63. The Scorch Trials, directed by Wes Ball (3/10)

Read the review The Scorch Trials.

64. San Andreas, directed by Brad Peyton (3*/10)

Full disclosure: I did not see the opening of this film and I missed the denouement as I fell asleep (I was sick in a hotel room) but I watched the vast majority of this.

I was in San Francisco recently and I can tell you that city is quite high, it doesn’t take very long to be fairly high up from sea level. Putting aside all the other questionable “science” that this film uses to suggest that California will be destroyed by this particular fault, the tsunami (somehow triggered by an inland quake) is so preposterously high – and never goes back out to sea – it basically obliterates my memory of all the other stupid shit in this stupid movie. Have any of these people ever seen a wave before?

Well, the one thing I will say is that the movie feels like Johnson just gave them a list of vehicles he’d like to be filmed driving/piloting and they built the story around that.

65. The Rezort, directed by Steve Barker (3/10)

The world has reached a new low when a Zombie Resort is a movie concept. (There’s a z instead of an s, get it?!?!)

The opening of this film is one of the most cliched and terrible openings of any film I’ve seen recently, featuring so much of that “static TV” shit as to be almost unbearable. (I almost turned it off.)

Signs of the budget are everywhere, none more than the hilariously small boat to The Rezort.

But basically this is Jurassic Park Zombies. (Only the park opened.) But, in order for this to happen, the “system” has to break and one of the most ridiculous aspects of this is when the system stops working, all the locks open. Is it just me, or do you think they’d be programmed to stay closed?

Anyway, this is really, really dumb. But, aside from that opening, it’s far from the worst zombie movie I’ve ever seen.

66. Final Girl, directed by Tyler Shields (2/10)

Note: This is not Final Girls. Read the review of Final Girl.


Shorts

1. “Hell Runs on Gasoline,” directed by Martin Bureau (9/10)

This is an extraordinary 7 minute film about something I was utterly unaware of: the absolutely insane, free-for-all racing in Saint-Felicien, Quebec. I cannot begin to describe how nuts this race is, or how well this short captures the chaos.

Basically, I practically wanted to go for one of these races by the time the film was over.

Really cool.

2. “The Chickening,” directed by Nick BenDoer, Davy Force (9/10)

An absolutely insane absurdist take on The Shining that will never let you watch that movie the same way again.

3. “The 414s,” directed by Michael T. Vollmann (6/10)

Most of the short films I have seen in my life have been fictional. The documentary shorts I have seen have either been borderline features or so arty as to not really qualify as documentary. And I guess now I know the reason.

This is a fine short about the “original” hackers – teenagers who, inspired by what was wrong in War Games, successfully hacked a military base, among other things. But the problem is that it’s too short. I know that might seem an odd thing to say, but this is a story far more interesting than 12 minutes could ever allow for. And in much of those 12 minutes he has unnecessary shots of newspaper clippings or media. I’d rather have watched a feature.