2011, Movies

Final Destination 5 (2011, Steven Quale)

Aka Final Destionation in 3D. And we watched it on a normal TV which, as you know, is a bit problematic. I should also note that I’ve seen the first three films in the series years ago – the first one many times, and second one more than once – but I have not seen the 4th. That’s probably really important for my understanding of the film, right?

The thing that always worked for me about the Final Destination movies is that they have removed basically all plot and character elements of horror and just have the kills. They’re not good movies by any standard, but they’re better bad movies because there’s not much to screw up, as long as they have some decent kills, they’re enjoyable.

There are some decent kills in this movie though more than one is so transparently made for 3D that it looks stupid. (And, as I noted at the top, the quality of the look of the movie is hurt by the 3D which we couldn’t see.) It’s been a long time since I’ve seen one of these movies and so I definitely enjoyed myself from a Final Destination standpoint.

But the film is terrible, of course. There’s basically no plot (as there never is), getting to the kills takes forever and the movie makes some pretty big mistakes. Both of these mistakes are massive spoilers but this movie is 10 years old and, hey, it’s Final Destination 5.

The first mistake betrays the purpose of the films: they have to kill each other to survive which means the climax is two guys fighting in a kitchen, That is…not why I watch Final Destination. I get that they want new stories but this is not the way to do it.

The second mistake starts out great: it turns out this is a prequel!!! (You didn’t see that coming, did you?!) But instead of ending the film with the survivors getting on Flight whatchamacallit it shows them die and then keeps going. Like, they came up with an objectively great ending for this stupid film series and they blew it.

3/10

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