This is one of the worst movies ever made? Hardly.
So, let’s get the obvious out of the way: the plot doesn’t make any sense. There are at least two twists that are basically impossible and make absolutely no sense. But there are lots of movies like that.
Also, this is not a particularly funny movie. It’s clearly meant to be a comedy, or have comedic elements, and very few of the jokes land. But, again, there are loads of movies that are meant to be funny but are not particularly. In fact, I actually laughed at a couple of the gags (though they weren’t great gags) and couldn’t help but enjoy Depp’s character’s attempts to speak Spanish to Italian people. That’s more than I can say for some comedies.
Yes, the dialogue is terrible and, at times, it makes literally no sense. I didn’t write down the conversation but, at one point, Jolie’s character says one thing and Depp’s says another in response and it’s like they are not talking to each other and I honestly don’t know how that go missed.
But the production values are very high; the film is relatively well shot (if not well edited) and the locations are nice to look at. It’s entirely possible that the only reason this exists is because the cast and crew wanted to hang out in some nice cities in Europe but, again, this wouldn’t be the first time a movie happened for that reason.
This is not a good movie; the plot makes no sense, it isn’t as funny as it thinks it is and some of the dialogue is absolutely terrible. But it is also far, far, far from being terrible. And it is is one of those box office bombs that makes me think the people who saw it and decried it as among the worst movies they’ve ever seen have never actually seen any truly terrible movies. (Or, alternatively, they have very different standards than me, and would rather watch a no-budget disaster that doesn’t work on any level, and somehow believe that is better than something like this.)