This is a pretty-looking but witless family fantasy film which fails to function as anything more than a pale Chronicles of Narnia imitation and the ending of which truly shows how ill-conceived this whole thing was.
Tag: Adventure
John Dies at the End (2009) by David Wong
Full disclosure: I didn’t read this when it was on the web, before it was published. But I saw the film at Midnight Madness TIFF in 2012. I don’t really remember the movie much any more but my review suggested I enjoyed it except for two things: 1) the CGI (which I remember being awful) …
Ready Player One (2018, Steven Spielberg)
It’s possible that reading bad reviews of this book and this movie prejudiced me ahead of time. But I’m not sure it would have mattered. This is a bad movie. And it’s somewhat shocking that a director as skilled at making popcorn entertainment as Spielberg couldn’t turn it into a passable film.
Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018, Christopher McQuarie)
This is now the sixth Mission: Impossible film and the third in the 2010s reboot. Things are tired: there are too many damn characters and the plot echoes the plots of previous movies (i.e. some element in the US government doesn’t trust/disavows Hunt and the IMF, again). I’m bored and I’m not laughing as much …
Captain Marvel (2019, Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck)
As I have noted with Marvel movies, I only ever read X Men and related comics, so I have no skin in the game of whether or not Captain Marvel should be a man. But a quick Wikipedia search reveals that it’s not so controversial as some made it seem. But make no mistake, this …
Iron Man 3 (2013, Shane Black)
After Iron Man 2 it’s easy to see why people thought this (mini) series was in need of a bit of a new direction. And this film provides it. I’m not sure it fits in very well with the main MCU movies, so I can see why this was the last Iron Man but it …
Green Lantern (2011, Martin Campbell)
Some movies you know are going to be bad from the moment they start, and this is one of them.
Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018, Peyton Reed)
I found the first Ant-Man mildly amusing but I can’t say I remember it very well now. But at least it wasn’t as complicated as its sequel.
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017, Jon Watts)
I hate reboots. There are perhaps few things I hate more than reboots than reboots of reboots. And yet, I must admit, this one works. And it works way better than expected. This film is, for me, one of the top 3 MCU movies. It might be the best, actually. Very minor spoilers if you …
Iron Man 2 (2010, Jon Favreau)
Everyone told me this was the bad Iron Man movies and i think they were right. SPOILERS if there can be.
Justice League (2017, Zack Snyder)
Oh hey, it’s Dumb Avengers.
The Darjeeling Limited (2007, Wes Anderson)
This movie came out when I was still pretty in love with Wes Anderson but, for some reason, I didn’t watch at the time. And then a decade passed and I watched it on a plane three weeks ago.
Avengers: Endgame (2019, Anthony Russo, Joe Russo)
Note: Due to the nature of this film – concluding this “phase” of the Marvel Cinematic Universe – and also its plot, it’s impossible to talk about it without heavy spoilers for the entire set of 20 odd movies, particularly Infinity War, as this is a direct sequel to that movie. You’ve been warned. (Of …
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008, Steven Spielberg)
This movie has become somewhat legendary since its release, so much so that I went from never wanting to see it to thinking I should probably watch it for a laugh. SPOILERS, I guess.
The Tourist (2010, Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck)
This is one of the worst movies ever made? Hardly.
Inferno (2016, Ron Howard)
I have never read a Dan Brown novel and I imagine I could not handle reading one. But for some reason, perhaps because I enjoy watching bad movies, this is the second of the adaptations of his novels I’ve seen. I’m not sure this one is as stupid as Angels and Demons, but it’s pretty fucking …
Thor: Ragnarok (2017, Taika Waititi)
The third Thor movie is so refreshing compared to what came before it. It’s still yet another flawed Marvel movie, but at least it doesn’t take itself seriously. Thank science for that.
Cry Wilderness (1987, Jay Schlossberg-Cohen)
This is one of those low-budget movies that thinks that location can substitute for a lack of a good story, coherent character motivations, good acting and competent filmmaking techniques. Specifically, these people got permission to film in a couple beautiful parks in California and apparently decided that this was enough to make a good family …
The Monuments Men (2014, George Clooney)
This is a reasonably entertaining, but oddly paced and very traditional film that dramatizes the efforts the US went to in order to rescue the art that the Nazis stole in World War II. As far as I can tell, it is very, very, very loosely based on the true story.
Life of Pi (2001) by Yann Martel
This review contains major SPOILERS. Hype is a dangerous thing. I heard a lot about this book, all positive, and I heard it for what felt like years. In addition to the hype, I had some aspects of the plot spoiled for me by the existence of the movie. So, basically, I waited way too …
The Jewel of the Nile (1985, Lewis Teague)
Whatever charms Romancing the Stone possessed, are generally lacking in this bizarre, dated and probably offensive sequel.
Inkheart (2008, Iain Softley)
I can imagine the pitch meeting where someone thought this was a good idea. And though I later learned it came from a book – I have not read it, obviously – it doesn’t make me think that pitch meeting was any more reasonable. Ideas like this always sound good, but it takes a lot …
Lord Jim (1900) by Joseph Conrad
Conrad is perhaps my favourite (English language) writer from the turn of the last century. I find “The Secret Sharer” to be one of the greatest English language short stories ever written. And Nostromo is a favourite of mine. And yet it took me forever to get into this, considered by some to be among …
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010, Michael Apted)
Apted’s surer hand makes this possibly the best entry in the series – it’s obvious from the opening shot that a better director is involved.
The Prisoner of Zenda (1894) by Anthony Hope
I thought I was completely unfamiliar with this story as I had not seen the movie nor did I know anything about the book. However, it turns out that I have indeed seen a similar movie, Dave! It turns out that story has been used over and over again by various people. I don’t know …
King Solomon’s Mines (1888) by H. Rider Haggard
I was only familiar with this story from the ’80s Hollywood version, which I had been told was drastically different from the book. Sure enough, it absolutely was. So much of it is utterly different as to be (nearly) a different story. But anyway…
The Eagle (2011, Kevin Macdonald)
This movie tries really hard. It’s clear a lot of effort went into the film, including the costumes and, particularly, the use of Gaelic – even though, with a few minutes research, it turns out it likely wasn’t Gaelic they would have been speaking.
King Solomon’s Mines (1985, J. Lee Thompson)
This is one of those wannabe Raiders of the Lost Ark films, even though it is based on a novel published about 100 years before that seminal film. But unlike some of the other ’80s adventure revivals, this is practically a copy of the Indiana Jones series, albeit with more (attempts at) humour. One could interpret it as a …
Congo (1995, Frank Marshall)
First of all, I thought I had seen this years ago but I remember about 15 minutes of it, so I guess not. Somewhere in here there might be a reasonably entertaining “jungle adventure” movie. Maybe.