1989, Movies

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II (1989, Charles B. Griffith)

If you thought Wizards of the Lost Kingdom was bad, well do I have a movie for you. Wizards of the Lost Kingdom, which has nothing at all to do with the original movie, has a far bigger actor attached to it than the original and somehow manages to be so much worse. This movie isn’t technically incompetent, like some all-time bad movies, but the acting is so awful, the budget so low, and the whole thing so boring that it actually makes it to my all time bad rating level. It’s a true classic.

So David Carradine is in this, which you’d think would mean this film automatically has to be better than the original, right? But Carradine is either drunk or playing drunk the whole film. (I mean, I might be drunk if I was from a famous acting family but was in the unrelated sequel to Wizards of the Lost Kingdom.) Most of the rest of the cast is some kind of awful. Not only is Robert Jayne whiney but he can’t appear to walk properly. Mel Welles is maybe good enough to be in an ad. And many others are just so bad you can’t believe they’re in a film. (Tyor’s mother is awful for example.) Only the mugging bad wizards really feel like they are trying, plus whatever the name of the evil woman is. She’s the one person in the whole film who doesn’t appear to be working hard but also appears to actually believe in her role. It’s some of the worst acting as a cast that I think I’ve seen in a film with someone as famous as David Carradine in it (whatever that means).

The budget is worse than the first one. There are many shots that focus on a very small space, sets are reused and and costumes feel like they were rented from low rent Malabar. If you thought any of these things were bad in the first film, well they are much worse here. This film makes the first film look like a mainstream film in terms of budget and care.

And this one was a chore to sit through, even with the Mystery Science Theater 3000 jokes. The plot is typical of these films – a young “chosen” one has to combat the evil that has conquered the land (so it’s even more simple than the first film). But most of the film is just walking from place to place, and the odd argument. There’s some awful fighting occasionally and then Tyor just accomplishes his task and then there’s more walking. It’s an extremely boring bad film.

Again, I’m not sure there’s anything in this film from a technical perspective that actually brings this movie down to All Time Bad. But the combination of the acting with the zero budget and the lack of basically anything happening brings me to only one conclusion. This is an All Timer.

1/10

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